Gov. Ed Rendell isn't subsidizing this plug for PA, but he should: PA is an excellent state in which to get married. Why? Because William Penn and his crew of Quaker Friends established this commonwealth, and as a result it is extremely easy to obtain a Quaker/Self-Uniting Marriage License. The average cost of an officiant in the city of Philadelphia (from my own experience) runs anywhere between $300 and $500. A self-uniting license is ten dollars more than a regular marriage license in PA, resulting in a total cost of 90 bucks to get yourself hitched. I've done a little research and have discovered the unfortunate truth that self-uniting licenses are not readily attainable in any other state (that I could find - please correct me if you know differently). Pennsylvania does allow non-residents to marry in Pennsylvania, so you nearby Delawarians and New Jerseyites interested in this Quaker goodness might want to think about getting hitched over the state line. Downside: PA does not currently permit same-sex marriage. Hopefully one day PA's self-uniting license will be an option open to everyone. For information on obtaining a marriage license in PA, see Philadelphia's city government website. I also found this website detailing marriage laws for each state in the US (but be aware that some of the info may be outdated, as laws are constantly changing).
For those unfamiliar with Quaker tradition and the concept of a self-union, let me pull from this apt Wikipedia entry on Quaker weddings:
Since traditionally Friends (the term for the religious order of Quakers) have no clergy, there is no one person to “marry” them. Instead they believe that they are married by God, and declare their intentions before God and those gathered. They believe that the marriage is merely "witnessed" by those present.
In PA, you do not have to be Quaker to obtain a self-uniting license. You must sign your certificate along with two witnesses of your promises to each other, send it in to the government, and voila! Married.
This entry may be less relevant for those of you who belong to a religious community, and may therefore have a more defined path you wish to follow. For those of you planning to get married with a particular religious order, do be aware that there is usually a fee or expected donation of similar cost to hiring an officiant ($300 plus). This is to support the organization and, you know, pay the person who is putting effort into your big day.
My fiancé and I do not belong to particular faith-based organizations, which left us with no immediate ideas about where we would marry and who would marry us. The nice thing about the self-uniting license is that it grants you the liberty of deciding who will lead your ceremony (if anyone) and what shape your ceremony will take. In our case, we asked a good friend to lead our ceremony. If you aren’t comfortable planning a ceremony or don’t know anyone you could ask for guidance, you may want to think about seeking out an officiant. The benefit of hiring someone (over the self-uniting option) is that they have experience in conducting weddings and might provide some coherence to your ideas or supply you with a template. I found this non-denominational ministry while surfing the net – it seems they provide a diverse set of services meant to accommodate all different types of people and ceremonies.
If you live in a state where the self-uniting license isn’t an option, you can get legally married at city hall (or the local courthouse) and conduct the “actual” wedding ceremony outside of this event. Just because you sign some papers at city hall indicating that you are married doesn’t mean you have to ceremonially marry each other at that time. The promises you make to each other are the important part – not the paperwork (though a lawyer might tell you differently). Getting married at city hall/the local courthouse is also a great option if you want to wed without the muss and fuss. City hall, small dinner afterwards? Sounds like a lovely Saturday evening plan to me.
The party part of a wedding is always fun, but the ceremony (well, really the vows/promises) - that's the important part of the day. Make sure you find the path that best embodies who you and your spouse are, and what means the most to you.
For those unfamiliar with Quaker tradition and the concept of a self-union, let me pull from this apt Wikipedia entry on Quaker weddings:
Since traditionally Friends (the term for the religious order of Quakers) have no clergy, there is no one person to “marry” them. Instead they believe that they are married by God, and declare their intentions before God and those gathered. They believe that the marriage is merely "witnessed" by those present.
In PA, you do not have to be Quaker to obtain a self-uniting license. You must sign your certificate along with two witnesses of your promises to each other, send it in to the government, and voila! Married.
This entry may be less relevant for those of you who belong to a religious community, and may therefore have a more defined path you wish to follow. For those of you planning to get married with a particular religious order, do be aware that there is usually a fee or expected donation of similar cost to hiring an officiant ($300 plus). This is to support the organization and, you know, pay the person who is putting effort into your big day.
My fiancé and I do not belong to particular faith-based organizations, which left us with no immediate ideas about where we would marry and who would marry us. The nice thing about the self-uniting license is that it grants you the liberty of deciding who will lead your ceremony (if anyone) and what shape your ceremony will take. In our case, we asked a good friend to lead our ceremony. If you aren’t comfortable planning a ceremony or don’t know anyone you could ask for guidance, you may want to think about seeking out an officiant. The benefit of hiring someone (over the self-uniting option) is that they have experience in conducting weddings and might provide some coherence to your ideas or supply you with a template. I found this non-denominational ministry while surfing the net – it seems they provide a diverse set of services meant to accommodate all different types of people and ceremonies.
If you live in a state where the self-uniting license isn’t an option, you can get legally married at city hall (or the local courthouse) and conduct the “actual” wedding ceremony outside of this event. Just because you sign some papers at city hall indicating that you are married doesn’t mean you have to ceremonially marry each other at that time. The promises you make to each other are the important part – not the paperwork (though a lawyer might tell you differently). Getting married at city hall/the local courthouse is also a great option if you want to wed without the muss and fuss. City hall, small dinner afterwards? Sounds like a lovely Saturday evening plan to me.
The party part of a wedding is always fun, but the ceremony (well, really the vows/promises) - that's the important part of the day. Make sure you find the path that best embodies who you and your spouse are, and what means the most to you.
3 comments:
That's a great idea. And with the self-uniting marriage license, you can have anyone you want perform the ceremony since he/she isn't the one doing the legal joining (or have any kind of ceremony you want, officiated or otherwise).
(Though are you sure it's only 10 more dollars? The website you linked to makes it seem like it might be 90 extra dollars, not 90 dollars total. I'd be curious.)
I was also confused by this when I was first looking into the self-uniting license. It's not totally clear from the wording on the linked website I provided, but indeed the self uniting/Quaker license is 90 *total*, not additional, dollars.
That's awesome. I'll keep that in mind for if I ever get married.
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